random ramblings...
Monday, December 11, 2006//

its been so long since i last posted my blog...hmmm...dami n sobrang nangyayari,d ko n lam gagawin ko s buhay ko..
a friend, no actually, a lot of friends pointed out to me n la n akong ginagawang assignment, mga sinasubmit la n akong paki...parang ganun n ung nangyayari s akin...lagi nlng ako last minute..ewan ko...maybe the fact that i KNOW n ililipat n ako ng school nxt yr n nagpapatamad s akin...khit pnapaasa p ako ng papa ko n kung magsumikap p ako BAKA ndi ako ilipat...cheh,lam ko nmn kung gano k kagalit s school nmin..
and also...ung kay abby...d ko lam kung pano ko cya 22lungan...basta im trying to b ther 4 her...i've gotten sobrang close to her the very day that the "incident" happened...dming nangyari s araw n un..bday p nmn ni angela...dami ni abby naging prob s araw n un and then...gosh..
and also...our group often fights and i dont know what to do...its like we're gonna break appart sumday or another...im getting afraid of that...gosh..
then there...i have this problem w/ a friend...she seems oblivious that it seems n medyo d ko cya kinakausap..i dont know...i mean..im not worthy of our friendship so y continue...dhil s isang beses n un n may ginawa akong sobrang malaking kasalanan s kanya...gosh...
i mean...she told me a problem and it really got me...nlunod ako s problemang iyon...then i told sum1 about it,sum1 that i really trust...
then later wen they already met...parang..alam ko n...ssbhin ng taong un ung kasalanan ko and she wud get mad at me...
she took it lighter than i expect her to...but then,i feel that i dont hav the right to butt in to their friendship anymore...i dont hav the right to b their friend anymore...im a failure as a friend...sobra...
i hate myself...bkit kc pag d k m2lungan ang isang tao linulunod ko ung sarili ko s problea nla...i wish im not like this...pero ganun ako eh...gosh..
la naman akong mapagsbhan n2...i know i made a mistake and now im gonna pay for it...
i luv her so much...parang ayaw ko cyang btawan...pero may kasalanan ako eh,i dont hav a choice..right?
even though she still considers me as a friend...feeling ko talaga napipilitan lng cya eh...i dont wanna force myself upon her...it seems so wrong...bakit ko gagawin un?so...is it right that i leave her be?
it hurts really...i really want her to be my friend...pero wala na eh..i lost her already...
but im happy for her...she found a new friend that she could lean on...the friend that i used to trust so much,and used to trust me...
parang...i feel like okay lng s akin ngaun ung gnawa ko...no regrets..cuz if i hadnt told him anything i wont be able to help her...and i know that he can help her...so maybe i can leave them be...
wow...it feels so good to let these things out of my system w/ my gud 0l' bloggy..
::sigh:: and also i have this problem of how to deal with my family...nahihirapan n ako s knila....sana c sharlene nlng mas nauna pnanganak kaysa s akin...
cge...i'm gonna retire n...aral p ako s exams..


---cRaZy gUrL---
11:17 PM


Me
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NAME: Sharmaine Santiago
AGE: 14
BIRTHDATE: November 19, 1991
LOCATION: Manila, Philippines
SCHOOL: Saint Jude Catholic School



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